yearning for a little R&R

It's been a long 2 months since the last post.

These have been absolutely the most hectic and the most productive weeks of my life. It has nevertheless been exhausting, and unhealthy. And I am looking at a few more weeks of this. I don't remember what it is to be relaxed. I don't remember how it feels to get 8 hours of solid sleep. I don't remember life without a hundred niggles and little pains all over the body. I so much wish to not have to rush every minute of the day. A vacation is so alien in concept, I am afraid to think of one.

Ironically, in the middle of this craziness, a strange thought occurred to me. What if I was stuck in an eternity with nothing to do? How would that be? It'd be impossible to do nothing. So, what would I do? I'd build things, I guess. Especially using a computer, because that's pretty much the only skill I have. But it's also a convenient one, because after all, everything in the universe seems to come down to information - storing, replicating, communicating - and a computer is pretty decent at handling information.

So may be I'd start building stuff on my computer. First, I guess, for the heck of it, I'd redo the stuff that's already been done. There would be enough time, even for a dim-wit like me, to be able to build complex stuff by trial and error; say an operating system from scratch or a virtual reality simulation.

Soon I guess I'd want to build new stuff, may be build my own virtual fantasy world. I'd define the laws of that universe. I'd build in a bunch of knobs such that tweaking each a little creates a new universe. Again, with time on my side, I'd start creating very interesting, complex stuff. Stuff that interact with each other, stuff that does stuff; stuff that may even start wondering how they came about, if there is a creator, if there is a point to all the fuss in their world, and if they really have be rushing all the freaking time.